You would think I’d be a mess this morning. I was up – literally – all night long with a teething, fever-not-breaking, baby who was up from 1:30 AM till 5:30 AM. We tried nursing, rocking, different holding positions, boppy nursing, cosleeping. Nothing seemed to work. Her fever would not break despite Tylenol/Ibuprofen alternations and, in fact, only seemed to worsen the closer it came to the sun peeking out. She would fall asleep but not let me put her down. She was uncomfortable, despite the orajel, and was fitfully tossing and turning and whining while I tried to rock her. Finally, after sheer exhaustion for both of us, she allowed me to hold her in a semi-nursing position, half twisted sideways on the bed, with my arms completely cradling her against my body. She fell asleep for an hour. I laid there and thanked God that I could at least close my eyes for a few minutes, even if I was in too uncomfortable a position to actually sleep. At 6:30 AM I was finally able to lay her back down without her waking only to have my wide-awake 4 year-old wake up coughing and wanting a place in bed next to me.
So after all that, as I said before, you’d think I’d be a mess this morning. And I am tired….REALLY TIRED!!! But this morning has been filled with the peace of slowing down. I had to miss my Second Cup ladies Bible class. Adam decided to grace us with the most delicious Crepes Orange Suzzette! My dishes are done, my house is picked up, my laundry is in, my kids are quietly (for now) sitting at the table doing their school work even as I type this.
It occurred to me while sweeping the floor (and this is not the first time) that maybe even my once-a-week, good for me, spiritual renewal time with the girls can even be “too much” for my life if it is not helping me reach the goals I have for my life. Does attending a Bible class make me more spiritual? Not really. Yes, it refreshes and is a time for sweet fellowship with the ladies. But I’ve seen the strain it puts on my kids. Are they worth the sacrifice? I see the strain it puts on my time. How much time did I get back this morning by just slowing down and being what I was suppose to be right here at home? The right(eous) path that He has laid out for me is to be at home, training up my littles in the Lord so that they will learn to love him with all their heart and mind and strength and soul. Does this seemingly good-for-me, spiritual activity accomplish that? Or is there more detriment attached to the rushing and forcing my kids to be babysat and putting them again and again in situations that they don’t necessarily want to be in?
The other day while making the bed and stopping for a moment to dip into His cup for a drink, I ran across this letter I had stashed in Adam’s Bible. I wrote it to him shortly after he had lost his job this past summer. This should have also been a time of great panic and hardship in our marriage, but instead was overwhelmingly filled with His peace poured out on a daily basis. Rereading the letter encouraged me, helped align my soul. Maybe it can help others out here in the cyber world that just need a little clarification to what are true priorities and what the false are that we tend to don upon ourselves like the heavy chain mail of a knight.
Read Psalm 25-27, especially 27:11-14.
As I was ironing and making the bed – or “making over” the bed – I thought to myself, “Maybe we just need to re-imagine life. Maybe we already have everything right here for our life. We just need to flip it over, rework, switch around until it looks fresh and new…until it feels right.”
We don’t need the next best thing…more money, bigger job, house, etc. Why not take what we already have and make it work for us instead of us working for the stuff?
What if I had time to iron pillow sheets and enjoy that?
What if during this simple, contemplative act, I could pray, listen to the birds, feel the breeze, watch out my window as clothes dry under the sun, hear my children laugh and play?
Simplify = the manifestation of self-control – our self-control over: $, possessions, stuff, more more more – and we gain: TIME, CONTENTMENT, THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS!!!
Just a thought from me to you on this lovely spring day.
I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. ~Psalm 27: 13-14