Slowing Down Life

You would think I’d be a mess this morning. I was up – literally – all night long with a teething, fever-not-breaking, baby who was up from 1:30 AM till 5:30 AM. We tried nursing, rocking, different holding positions, boppy nursing, cosleeping. Nothing seemed to work. Her fever would not break despite Tylenol/Ibuprofen alternations and, in fact, only seemed to worsen the closer it came to the sun peeking out. She would fall asleep but not let me put her down. She was uncomfortable, despite the orajel, and was fitfully tossing and turning and whining while I tried to rock her. Finally, after sheer exhaustion for both of us, she allowed me to hold her in a semi-nursing position, half twisted sideways on the bed, with my arms completely cradling her against my body. She fell asleep for an hour. I laid there and thanked God that I could at least close my eyes for a few minutes, even if I was in too uncomfortable a position to actually sleep. At 6:30 AM I was finally able to lay her back down without her waking only to have my wide-awake 4 year-old wake up coughing and wanting a place in bed next to me.

So after all that, as I said before, you’d think I’d be a mess this morning. And I am tired….REALLY TIRED!!! But this morning has been filled with the peace of slowing down. I had to miss my Second Cup ladies Bible class. Adam decided to grace us with the most delicious Crepes Orange Suzzette! My dishes are done, my house is picked up, my laundry is in, my kids are quietly (for now) sitting at the table doing their school work even as I type this.

It occurred to me while sweeping the floor (and this is not the first time) that maybe even my once-a-week, good for me, spiritual renewal time with the girls can even be “too much” for my life if it is not helping me reach the goals I have for my life. Does attending a Bible class make me more spiritual? Not really. Yes, it refreshes and is a time for sweet fellowship with the ladies. But I’ve seen the strain it puts on my kids. Are they worth the sacrifice? I see the strain it puts on my time. How much time did I get back this morning by just slowing down and being what I was suppose to be right here at home? The right(eous) path that He has laid out for me is to be at home, training up my littles in the Lord so that they will learn to love him with all their heart and mind and strength and soul.  Does this seemingly good-for-me, spiritual activity accomplish that? Or is there more detriment attached to the rushing and forcing my kids to be babysat and putting them again and again in situations that they don’t necessarily want to be in?

The other day while making the bed and stopping for a moment to dip into His cup for a drink, I ran across this letter I had stashed in Adam’s Bible. I wrote it to him shortly after he had lost his job this past summer. This should have also been a time of great panic and hardship in our marriage, but instead was overwhelmingly filled with His peace poured out on a daily basis. Rereading the letter encouraged me, helped align my soul. Maybe it can help others out here in the cyber world that just need a little clarification to what are true priorities and what the false are that we tend to don upon ourselves like the heavy chain mail of a knight.

Dear Adam,

Read Psalm 25-27, especially 27:11-14.

As I was ironing and making the bed – or “making over” the bed – I thought to myself, “Maybe we just need to re-imagine life. Maybe we already have everything right here for our life. We just need to flip it over, rework, switch around until it looks fresh and new…until it feels right.”

We don’t need the next best thing…more money, bigger job, house, etc. Why not take what we already have and make it work for us instead of us working for the stuff?

What if I had time to iron pillow sheets and enjoy that?

What if during this simple, contemplative act, I could pray, listen to the birds, feel the breeze, watch out my window as clothes dry under the sun, hear my children laugh and play?

Simplify = the manifestation of self-control – our self-control over: $, possessions, stuff, more more more – and we gain: TIME, CONTENTMENT, THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS!!!

Love, Me

Just a thought from me to you on this lovely spring day.

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. ~Psalm 27: 13-14

holy experience

7 thoughts on “Slowing Down Life

  1. coming to you from a holy experience –
    love this post – thanks for sharing! Your morning sounded rough, but the love just pours out into your post! press on!

    joyfully –

  2. Amy this is a wonderful post and very encouraging to me today as I sit here at the computer overwhelmed by tasks and also after a night of being up with a baby hourly.

    God has been pulling my heart in a similar direction but even when I have cut things out, I find He is still pressing me to do more. It is such a hard question to ask- serving Him at home or serving Him elsewhere? Not that it is a choice for me. I know where I stand. But others seem to do both so why can’t I?

    Anyway, these were words my spirit needed to hear today so thank you for sharing.

    • Misty, Thank you for your words of encouragement. Sometimes even this blog is something I think, who am I doing this for? Yes, I would journal anyway, I have for years about my kids schooling, and originally I started this as a way to encourage others out there because I have received so much encouragement in the past from others blogs. But then I think, “But Lord, this takes time too!” And feel like I should give it up. So thank you kindly for your comment that says to me there is a reason. It is not about large audiences, but instead about God’s Spirit working through us in the most ordinary and humble of ways.

      My class is the only thing I really do outside the home. I’ve given up on small church groups and we’ve not officially signed the kids up for outside activities as of yet. I do have a homeschool mom’s meeting once a month but otherwise, this one ladies Bible class is it. So I feel like it should be okay to keep it. But how can you ignore that PEACE that He settles on you when you do something? Anyways…I’m rambling. Thanks for listening!

  3. Amy, thanks for stopping by my blog or I might not have found your reply so soon. I really struggle with blogging too! It is important to me because of the way I have been blessed by others, and I do feel that God has been pushing me towards developing my writing skills and habits. I would love for Him to be able to use me as a vessel in that way. But it is hard to balance the time committment and to struggle against the madness blogging can sometimes bring about (simply put I guess just having to constantly check your motiviations). Not to mention waiting on His timing and not getting in such a hurry. So I’m glad you rambled because I can totally relate! And like you said, feedback is SO encouraging. So thank you!

  4. Amy,
    I know this is a little late, but I was reading some comments and I came across these comments and you saying you don’t know why you sometimes do this. Well just remember I am your number one fan, even if I don’t comment on most things I read your blog every couple days if not every day. I love hearing what you have to say even if you think it is just mumble jumble. But I do have to say my favorite readings are on Mondays with the Thank you list. I always try to make my own in my head as I read yours! You really help me to get through my days with your words even if you don’t think it!
    Love ya

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