It is Sunday evening as I am writing this (to be posted on Monday morning) and I am finally breathing again. My life has been a whorl wind of activity between Adam getting a new job, refiguring finances, deciding to move, moving, unpacking, running to a million doctor/dentist appointments, doing up Halloween with the children, planning birthdays, and cleaning the house (an almost impossible task around here with so many little ones and me two weeks from giving birth) for guests.
It is Lily’s birthday today and we had lots of family over to celebrate with and see our new place. I loved that everyone had a chance to get out here during the daylight hours and find our house in the middle of the country. I loved that Lily had a wonderful day full of rich presents that are just right for her. But it wasn’t until everyone walked back out the door and quiet descended that I sat and just breathed and realized that I seemed to be holding it in. I didn’t know that I was trying to hold it all together, to get past this one date. Now, aside from 2 more doctor appointments, I have nothing on the agenda for the next two weeks until the baby comes. We are still not “officially” doing school until he is born and I only have two more boxes to unpack and a few closets to organize, none of which have to be done right now.
I sat on my couch and looked around at my fully decorated, pretty-much put together house and thought I don’t have to work tomorrow. I can actually take the day off. I can stay in P.J.s all day long. I can read!!! (You don’t even know how rare that is!) I can let the kids just play and not worry about vacuuming. I can throw in a freezer meal (given to me today by my dear grandmother) and not worry about dinner. I can blog if I feel like it, surf if I feel like it, catch up on other blog reading that I haven’t had time for. I can sit and read to my littles over and over without that dreaded feeling of leaving something undone. I can read Lily chapters from her new book. I can have a baby. I felt this release…this sigh of my soul. Even as I write I am watching my two littles play hide and seek through a fireplace and relishing in their simple joy.
I look at this picture taken today…
…and thought how beautiful it is…how beautiful this place is that God blessed us with. I’ve know that intellectually in my head (how can you not when pulling up the blinds to this gorgeous view every morning?) but I have yet to actually experience it. Today I got that chance. I walked out to get the kids and realized the sun was just perfectly lighting up all this flora and fauna around me. The breeze caressed my skin and I felt alive…really alive, like I haven’t felt in a long time. A kiss from God. The weather was perfect. The colors were perfect. This place is perfect. Perfect for our family in this place and season of life. Perfect for our needs. Perfect for our souls.
So today I will breathe. Today I will rest.
263. Breathing again.
264. Reading Life Art…just for me, just because!
265. Pumpkin bread that someone else baked just ready to eat for breakfast.
266. Microwaves and other things that simplify my life right now.
267. Pasture-fed cows and horses that I can see out my window.
268. Our very own Hundred Acre Woods.
269. Cinnamon coffee and eggnog for creamer.
270. The happiness of a toddler and a balloon.
271. Watching my kids sketch on the front porch.
272. Seeing a real bluebird for the first time.
273. Childhood school memories of “moroccas” from the locust bean trees and seeing my children discover them for the first time.
274. Photo collages of baby photos.
275. Good fiction.
276. Excitement over seeing a crow and hearing him caw.
278. A packed baby hospital bag.
279. Mini husband coffee breaks mid morning.
280. Seeing my 18 month old mimic reading.
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him ~ Psalm 62:5