Remember how much fun the Fourth of July used to be?
Remembering doing snakes….
…and smoke bombs…
…and collecting confetti?
Remember the thrill of the food? Lots of snacks and chips and soda…one of the few times a year to indulge.
And the thrill of first twilight when you were allowed to do just sparklers as the anticipation of the night was building up in your stomach?
It is because I have these memories that I long for my kids to also. But I wasn’t prepared for the emotional change that motherhood brought to the fourth. When I was little I could barely sleep the night before anticipating a relaxing day off. Now I am trying to quiet the mother’s fear in my heart.
It’s the only time of year we purposely give our kids fire to play with!!!
Gun powder. Explosives. Fire. Kids and fresh flesh. Dads and over-zealous enthusiasm. Too much sugar. Stickiness mingling with smoke residue into indefeatable laundry stains. Toddlers missing naps. Babies scared of noises and wanting to sleep so badly. Bedtimes thrown off. Noise into the night. Its enough to throw any mom off her game.
Just look at this photo. Can you say heart attack?????
There is no relaxing conversation while sipping a cool drink on a summer’s eve with the twinkling bugs all around. There is only damage control. Most of my day is hemmed in prayer. All I can do is surrender my fear over to Him who is bigger than said fear.
As a homeschooling mom I think of the soldiers fighting as I hear the celebratory booming around me. I have real fears today but I cannot imagine the heart of those mothers during that tumultuous time of fighting. How many of them in the years to come were gun shy…literally…every time they heard the fireworks ignite the sky?
As much as I cherish these memories and pictures of childhood fan fare, I am acutely aware of how precious my faith is to me and that even on a day of me being hyper-sensitively aware of danger, I can fully cast off my cares on Him and allow peace to reign in my soul. There is true freedom in that and only that.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~ Philippians 4:6