Seeking Him First

This past week has been a weekend of growth in seeking Him first. Jesus is teaching me how to follow Deuteronomy 6 – talking to my children when they rise, along the way in the day, when they lie at night. If you are anything like me, we somehow think this needs to be a more formal thing. But I am quickly discovering, as with all of the heavy spiritual stuff, it is actually in the mundane of life.

Gabe has been struggling with the concept of miracles. I have been struggling with obeying the prompting of a new schedule. And the Lord brought us together beautifully like a perfectly played chord. As I sat with the kids (completely tired and not wanting to) and opened our Children’s Bible, we read the story of Jesus asking his disciples to cast their nets. As I am reading I feel prompted by the Spirit to talk about why he would do this. Why fish? Why something so ordinary? Why this time of day? Suddenly I remembered all Gabe’s statements about miracles only being back then and not now. As Peter says (my paraphrase), “Why now Lord when there are no fish? But yet I will do as you command.” It strikes me that he is obeying and being blessed with the ordinary in life. We somehow think that God works in the extraordinary yet we always find Him in the ordinary doing the extraordinary.

I thought of our summer filled with job loss. I thought on the myriad of ways God took care of us and provided in little ways – ways that could be construed by some as coincidental but when put together in number and order and perfect planning turn into quite the miracles! This I explained to Gabe. The ordinary fish suddenly made sense. And it began to grow in his heart that miracles are not filled with bangs and fireworks (unless they’re babies being born, of course!) but with small details attended to by a very BIG God!

Later in the morning as we are searching and searching and searching for 2 library books gone AWOL, when everyone is in tears and frustrated and angry, when our basement is piled high with couch cushions and couch crumbs blanket the floor, when toys are dumped out to find overlooked hiding spots, when under beds are emptied and the bedroom can’t be walked through due to the sheer amount of stuff piled in the middle, only then do I feel that tiny prick in my heart. I stop to hear the still small voice. And I hear,

“Why are you trying so hard? I am right here…right in the midst of this too. You can come to me, even now. I can show them that I AM even in this minor irritation. Can you show them how to look for me right now?”

So I gather everyone around and we pray. We pray our eyes and minds will be opened to new spots. It was not a fancy prayer. It was not a long prayer. It did not “sound” like a spiritual prayer. Yet ten minutes later, after we had spent over 6 hours looking, the books fell into our laps. The kids eyes were bugging out of their head. They remembered our morning reading about miracles in the ordinary. They remembered our many talks on God not answering prayer right away. And Gabe, in awe, whispered that he’d never have to wonder about miracles again. God really does answer prayer! Oh how my heart praised! For it had nothing to do with library books at all, but everything to do with a parent being there talking, listening, and pointing to the Savior that we want our children to drink from. For this I am thankful!

88) Prayers answered no matter how trivial they seem.

89) Little hearts open to HIM who fills.

90) The Golden Guide Children’s Bible that knows a child can handle the big language of the Word, not the dumbed-down wording of most children’s bible stories.

91) For music that feeds the soul.

92) For acts of charity that seem to stretch us and demand more then we are able to give.

93) For Doxology’s and Ancient Hymns.

94) For trash out before I’m bleared-eyed in the morning.

95) For a little girl who says “pppooookkkeeeyyy” (translated spooky) with the finger wriggling to go with.

96) For the Morning Dew that can take us through a day when all looks parched.

97) A husband who suggests videos that grow us together.

98) The weight of deep sleep against my arms.

99) For recycled paper and ideas that turn the ordinary into exactly what I need.

100) For audio books that fill little ears with unabridged beautiful language.

101) The bird I heard chirping amidst the snow signaling the first sign of spring’s return.

102) Crunchy vegetables to satisfy cravings as the comforted heaviness of winter’s food wanes.

103) Monks who are teaching me how to lay down my life.

104) Spontaneous questions that can only come with having a whole day in front of us with no outside commitments.

105) Mismatched, eclectic musical styles – the real, the Holy, the self-focused, the deeply moving, the crazy dancing jigs – because I can’t figure out how to organize my itunes.

106) Long winded words of females I respect and trust who make me pause and reconsider and who lead me to new, longer winded words that knock the breath out of me.

107) My baby who is suckling and not sleeping like she’s suppose to be.

108) Reflections of birth stories and journaling and speaking with purpose.

109) HIS hand right in front of my face – a centimeter away – and, Yes!, I can feel it.

110) A pouring out of love at 1ish in the morning.

111) Little girls who wake up dry.

112) A boy who wrote his very first letter.

113) And who spelled his very first word on my fridge.

114) Space museum, Zoo, and Forest playdates to look forward to.

115) A big brother who read a bedtime story to an eager little sister.

116) A big sister who delights in playing with the baby while mommy is working.

117) Ice in water quenching my parched throat.

118) No runny noses or meds to dole out.

119) Getting the bills done in one sitting of the baby’s nap.

120) Being credit card debt free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

121) Owing nothing to the hospital.

122) Still being delighted by snow crystals on the window pane.

123) Waking up to sunshine instead of darkness.

124) My handmade rose curtains that still delight me to look through.

holy experience

6 thoughts on “Seeking Him First

  1. Hi Amy. I popped over from Holy Experience. Your words really spoke truth and encouragement into my life today. I was nodding along the whole way! Anyway, I love your blog. I’ll be back. 🙂

  2. Amy,
    Your post blessed my heart!
    I am in a completely different season of life than you are but how well I remember those frustrating times as a parent when things are lost, or chores need to be done or companies coming…it’s so easy to lose our temper and be frustrated and self absorbed instead of showing grace and being God absorbed!
    Your list is thought provoking.
    I enjoyed reading your post.

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